I finally logged on to my blog today. I know, I know, it’s been months! Life and internet get in the way. One major drawback of living in the country is that you only get so many MB of data to use a month and let’s face it, mine all go to school. I mean that IS the reason we got internet in the first place. Before we just had one of those little wireless cards that was my mother-in-laws that we tried to use only in “emergency” situations (or when my husband decided he NEEDED to watch that YouTube video.
I got a little notification when I first logged on saying that it was my anniversary. It told me I had 6 years under my belt! If you look back you’ll see that there is NOT 6 years of blog posts. I created an account all those years ago to vent my frustration about my life and basically used it as my place to have a pity party. I kept it all hidden so no one had to see the complaints of a 20-year-old that felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. College was happening and my personal life was a wreck…like a serious wreck. I’ve never told y’all the story of my parents and it’ll be a while before I probably will. I mean it was their life more than mine, I just had to live through it too. Parents: please remember your children when you are going through troubles. I know it’s so easy to focus on how much you are hurting and how difficult it is for you, but your children need you to understand that they are hurting just as much. I think some people get swept up in their own despair that they can’t see/don’t care how it impacts others because they are so consumed by it. Even after my parents got divorced the ramifications of their behavior still linger today. They’ve been apart for 9 years and have both remarried and it’s still extremely difficult. I know this all sounded vague but slowly I will spill the details of my past. It’s a doozy for sure but I know others have gone through a lot worse than I did or are going through the same thing.
After seeing that notification and the flood of the past hit me in the face, I’m so thankful for my life as it is today. Sometimes I get frustrated and want more. I want to travel so bad I can’t stand it some days. But when I’m reminded of the darker times, it makes me so happy to be at home, listening to Old McDonald had a Farm for the millionth time, trying to squeeze pennies to pay to replace the clutch that went out on one of our vehicles, and getting frustrated that my dog got sprayed by a skunk AGAIN (the joys of living on a farm, right?). We all have frustrations in life, but compared to where I have been, this is heaven. I have a son who loves me unconditionally and a husband who (I hope, he hasn’t given me any reason to doubt lol) does too. As cliché as it sounds, I have a roof over my head, yummy food that we can eat, clothes to cover us (maybe getting a little snug but by golly I can wear them haha), and I have love. That’s really all I care about and sometimes I just need a little poke to remind me of that.
I’m sure some of you are going through really hard times right now and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just remember that the tunnel will end eventually and a beautiful, blue sky with a huge warm sun is waiting on the other end. You will get there. I promise.
Ok, enough of that. Thank you WordPress for providing a FREE place to store our thoughts, cool things we find, and a way to share with everyone what exactly we think about something. You are awesome! I hope I have many more anniversaries with you.
P.S. I celebrated my work anniversary in May too! Five years and counting! Being a library tech and, one day in the next few years, a librarian is the best job I could ever have. You know you love your job when you are mentioned in a library blog post (it’s nice for others to recognize how much you love your job). I’m the one who loves to research books: http://uncgfol.blogspot.com/2015/03/in-recognition-of-national-library-week.html haha. I’m sure you would have guessed that though. =)